🧚 The Story of the Three Thieves.

Once upon a time there lived within the dominions of the Emperor of China three very clever Thieves.1 These men, owing to their skill and cunning, were quite at the head of their profession, and by sleight of hand and dexterity were able to accomplish feats of trickery which the ordinary thieves could not emulate.2 The first was so clever that he was able to withdraw eggs from under a sitting hen without in any way disturbing her, and without her being aware that the theft had been accomplished.3 The second was able to cut the soles off a man’s boots as he walked along the road without the victim knowing that he had been robbed.4 And the third was able to eat his fill off a man’s plate during dinner without the man who was robbed, or his friend opposite, being able to detect where the victuals had gone to.5

Now it happened one day that these three Thieves met together in a country inn, and entering into conversation with one another, began to exchange confidences.6

“May I ask what you do for a living?” asked the first Thief of the second.7

“Oh, I am a Thief,” answered the man who was addressed.8

“Very good,” replied the other men, “we also are Thieves.9 Can you tell us, please, if there is any particular line in which you excel?”10

“Yes,” said the second Thief; “I am able to cut the soles off a man’s boots as he walks across the road without his being aware of what has happened.11 What can you two do, pray?”12

“I,” replied the first Thief, “can withdraw the eggs from under a sitting hen without disturbing her.”13

“And I,” said the third, “can steal another man’s dinner from off his plate, and eat my fill as he sits at table, without the victim, or the man sitting opposite, being able to detect me.”14

So the three Thieves, having struck up a friendship on the ground of their unusual skill, set off together to the court of the Emperor of China, in order to see whether they could not succeed in making their fortunes there.15

On arriving at the court they consulted together and came to the conclusion that in order to make any headway in China it was necessary to attract the attention of the Emperor.16 So they agreed to separate for twenty-four hours, and to meet next day in the courtyard of the palace, each bringing some gift to the Emperor which would please him, and prove to him that they were men of no usual calibre.17 Accordingly, they parted in different directions, and the following day at noon, they met together in the courtyard of the palace, and each one proceeded to relate his adventures during the preceding twenty-four hours.18

“As soon as I left you yesterday,” began the first Thief, “I went into the royal farm adjoining the palace, and there I found one of the Emperor’s pea-hens sitting upon her nest, and hatching a clutch of eggs, which was calculated to produce a breed of the very finest peacocks.19 By the Emperor’s orders this nest was watched by an attendant night and day, in order that no one should interfere with the eggs, and the pea-hen herself was so cross that she would not allow anyone to approach her except the man who fed her.20 But such obstacles as these were nothing to me, and I had no difficulty in evading the watchers and abstracting the eggs from under the hen, without even disturbing her, or her being aware of the loss.21 Now here they are in my wallet, and when the loss is discovered presently, as it is sure to be, and a reward offered for their discovery, I propose to present them to the Emperor.”22

The other two Thieves applauded their comrade for his skill and ingenuity, and the second Thief then proceeded to relate his story as follows:23

“When we separated yesterday, I at once entered the Emperor’s antechamber, and mingled with the nobles and officials who were awaiting an audience with His Majesty, and amongst the others I soon noticed the Prime Minister.24 He was a very stout man, dressed in his finest robes, and with a new pair of boots on his feet.25 As he passed to and fro in the crowd, I succeeded in cutting the soles off his new boots without his having any idea of what had happened.26 Shortly afterwards he was summoned to the Emperor’s presence, and when he knelt down to kow-tow before His Majesty, it was observed that he had no soles to his boots.27 The Emperor, thinking that the Minister had committed this serious breach of etiquette on purpose, fell into a violent passion, and ordered him to be imprisoned at once.28 It was no use for the wretched man to protest his innocence or to plead for mercy.29 The Emperor’s orders are that, unless a satisfactory explanation is given to him before six o’clock this evening and the missing soles produced, the Minister is to be beheaded.30 Here are the soles of the Prime Minister’s boots in my wallet, and I propose to present them to His Majesty this afternoon during his public audience.31 I shall thus earn the gratitude of the Prime Minister and appease the wrath of the Emperor.”32

The other two Thieves, on hearing this story, congratulated their comrade on his successful manœuvre, and the third Thief proceeded to relate his adventures as follows:33

“When we parted yesterday,” said he, “I entered the palace, and after wandering about for some time I found myself in the chamber where the Emperor’s dinner was being prepared, and where all the chief officials of the palace were assembled to superintend the arrangements for the royal meal.34 There were the Head Chamberlain and the Under Chamberlains, the Head Usher and the Under Ushers, the Head Waiter and the Under Waiters, and many other officials of minor degree.35 I mingled with the servants, who were standing about, without attracting any attention, and remained in the room until the Emperor himself entered and seated himself with great ceremony to partake of his mid-day meal.36 The Chief Cook and the Chief Chamberlain placed themselves in front of the Emperor, in order to see that the service of his food was properly conducted, whilst the other high officials took their stand on either side of his chair and assisted in bringing in the dishes.37 In spite of all these precautions, however, I was able by my skill to take the food from each dish as it was placed upon the table, before the Emperor had time to partake of more than a very few mouthfuls.38 As the meal proceeded the Emperor grew more and more annoyed, and complained of the insufficiency of the food which had been prepared for him.39 Such a thing as this had never occurred before in the palace.40 The Head Cook and all the Under Cooks, the Head Chamberlain and all the Under Chamberlains, the Head Usher and all the Under Ushers, and all the officials of lower degree, were thrown into a dreadful state of confusion and alarm at the event.41 They rushed hither and thither, between the kitchens and dining-halls, upbraiding the scullions and other domestics for their carelessness, and preparing the most elaborate and copious dishes for the Emperor’s table.42 But after some time the Emperor, wearied by the confusion, and unable, in spite of everything, to make a satisfactory meal, gave orders that the whole of the Cooks and other attendants responsible for his table-service should be imprisoned, and that unless a satisfactory explanation of their negligence could be given before this evening they should be beheaded.43 I have here, in my wallet, the whole of the viands which yesterday were placed before the Emperor for his consumption, and I propose at the audience to present them to him, and inform him what really happened.44 He will undoubtedly pardon me when he hears the story, and I shall earn the undying gratitude of all the disgraced officials by procuring their release.”45

The other two Thieves, on hearing this story, congratulated their comrade warmly upon his daring and success, and the three entered the Emperor’s antechamber together, and awaited the time for public audience.46

A few minutes later the great doors leading to the audience chamber were thrown open, and a herald appearing upon the threshold proclaimed “Silence.”47 He then gave notice that, on the previous day, the eggs had all been stolen from under the Emperor’s favourite pea-hen, and that any person who could find the eggs or give any information concerning their loss should receive a reward; secondly, that for a breach of etiquette the Prime Minister had been imprisoned, and that unless he could explain his offence before six o’clock that evening he was to be beheaded, and that any person who could offer assistance in the matter would be well paid and otherwise rewarded by the Emperor; thirdly, that owing to bad attendance during the Emperor’s repast the previous day, all the domestic officials of the palace had been imprisoned, and would be beheaded at six o’clock that evening unless they could give a satisfactory explanation; and that any person who could assist in the matter would be well rewarded for his pains.48